✿ ADHD & Running a Monthly Sticker Club ✿

For over a year now I have been running Mossy Mail on my own website, having moved off Patreon in order to get rid of the subscription model it is based on. I felt like nowadays a lot of things require a subscription, almost to a ridiculous amount. And it seems like a lot of people shared that sentiment, telling me they really appreciate the non-subscription model that Mossy Mail runs on, just a product bundle listed as a product in my shop for them to buy if they have the funds to do so.

 

I am so proud of the concept I set up, but I am also noticing its big major flaw after one year of doing this. All around me I see other creators with their Patreon’s, putting out a new themed bundle every single month with often multiple items in it. It is easy then when you start something similar yourself to stick to that same formula, because clearly it is working out for them. Though after a year of doing this, I am coming to the realization that (of course) what works great for some people, doesn’t mean it will for others. Especially not if your brain is actually more of a circus tent, filled with all different little acts that want to shine in the spotlight.

 

Two years ago I was officially diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. It is a form of ADHD that is characterized by difficulty to sustain focus, following through on tasks, forgetfulness, organization and especially for me a brain full of constant thoughts. Like I said, it feels like a circus in there, with all my interests and thoughts fighting for a turn on the main stage to perform their little acts. Just a never-ending show that keeps on going day and night.

 

I was diagnosed very late in life, at 27, which of course brings its own difficulties with it. Self acceptance is a huge one of it, struggling to grasp why your brain works differently from others, and wishing you could just be ‘normal’ instead. To this day I am still learning a lot, now receiving specialized coaching from someone who studied for it. I am on medication as well, which for me has made a huge positive impact on my life.

 

 

Circling back to running a monthly sticker club, which is already an incredible feat to pull off on its own. Now add ADHD into the mix, and you get a recipe for struggles (at least in my case). To think of a new theme and create a whole bundle of products surrounding that theme, and do it all over again the next month- it is a lot haha. So much so that right now I find myself at the point of creative burnout. I feel like I am at the edge of a cliff, and if I keep pushing forward and force myself to keep up this impossible task, I will surely fall in deep.

When I first realised that I couldn’t keep up with this concept anymore in its current stage, I felt ashamed. Why was it that I couldn’t do that so many others are doing? Maybe you have read newsletters or Instagram stories of me in the past, where I often delayed my Mossy Mail launches or tried out a new planning system with the releases of shop updates etc. By constantly promising new things and desperately trying to make things work, I also felt like I was failing to deliver to the people who support me. By constantly changing the narrative and not following up on promises, it honestly felt like I was losing the trust with my community that I worked so hard on for years.

Yet every single time that I voice my struggles in my stories, I am always met with such support and understanding. People telling me to take it easy and focus on the things that make me the happiest. That they would rather see me enjoy myself and the art that comes forth out of that joy.

 

It is incredibly scary to completely change things around every once in a while, deviating from things that have worked in the past. After all, this is my job and I need an income to live. But by trying to fit myself into a box that was clearly not made for me, I think I am only keeping myself back even further.

And I think it is important for me to realize that this is in fact not a failure, but rather an opportunity to make it even better. A chance to try again and be able to make it the best version that it can be. Something that I enjoy, that inspires me and leaves me wanting to create more rather than struggling to even put a pen to the canvas.

 

 

I know this blog post has been a bit personal, and perhaps a little bit emotionally loaded in a way. Personally I really appreciate it when other creators share their thoughts like this, opening up the curtain that leads into their circus brain and showing the chaos that hides behind the facade. Comforting right? To know that we are all human, trying to do the best we can in a world that feels like it is actively working against us. 

I hope that I am not the only one who thinks this way, as I really like making posts like this. It is something I have been wanting to do for the longest time, yet always felt like it wasn't a thing people would be interested in because of how long they can be. But as many of you told me already, having a passion for something you do is often the thing that pulls people with similar interests towards your work.

 

So… what are my plans with Mossy Mail from here on out? 

I still would like to continue the concept of a monthly sticker club. When I sat down to think about it, I came to the conclusion that I really enjoy the personal touch to those packages I sent out. They have a letter in them, where I talk about the things that inspired me that month, and little things I am up to. I really like writing those, and I think they add something special to each edition of Mossy Mail.

Honestly, I want Mossy Mail to have the feeling of having a pen pal. A letter you get in the mail each month with some small little things like small stickers. I also saw a lot of journaling kits online that I really liked: small sets that contain little bits and pieces to use in your journal, from notepad sheets to mini sticker sheets and the like.

Another thing I really enjoy is packaging design, and when I see these little pen pal envelopes all decorated, I feel that itch to create again. I think I would rather make a small envelope each month with some small rewards that reflects my love for packaging design and that desire to create, than forcing myself to create a big bundle with products I don’t even feel proud of.

 

Packaging inspiration by Martina Calvi and Mokuji.

 

I would like to give myself the freedom to decide what I want to make every month, may it be 1 die-cut sticker, perhaps a small sticker sheet or even both. Mossy Mail was always meant for me to experiment and have fun, but I think I started to compare myself to other creators and their Patreon, and felt like I had to compete. And by keeping Mossy Mail small and affordable, I hope it will be accessible to a lot more people. Just an envelope each month with small rewards and a letter, that hopefully can be a piece of mail that people look forward to receiving.

 

The month of March I am taking some time off to rest, regain some of my footing and get inspired again. I am striving to have the new concept for Mossy Mail on the rails by April, continuing it every month, instead of bi-monthly. No worries, I will be keeping it all small and realistic ❤️

Haha the length of this entire post truly lets my ADHD brain shine, doesn’t it? Honestly I could ramble on about things, but I don’t want to make this even longer than it is. All I wanted to do is open up about some of my personal struggles, and why I am changing Mossy Mail for what feels like the hundredth time. 

And perhaps in the future it will change again, and that is okay. We all change and grow overtime, and our art and creations grow with it. It is okay to change, and discover that something isn’t working for you anymore. Rather than to fight against it, I want to work with my ADHD and figure out how to give my creativity and passion for my craft the main act in the spotlight. 

Thank you for reading this far, and feel free to leave a little comment below if this is something you also struggle with! I would love to connect with you all and read what is on your minds.

Lots of love,

Manouk